Potty Training: An Update

I wrote here about the beginning of potty training my oldest. Tomorrow, it will be a week. I just wanted to share an update: My oldest is finally getting the hang of potty training. Now, this doesn't mean that he's able to tell me right away that he needs to use the potty. Once in a while, he fights me about needing to use the potty, but once he's on it, he'll tell me that he's going to pee (and he does). Today was the first day he finally did more than pee in the potty, but I had to catch him and drag him to the toilet (there was some staining, but not a lot).

I think he hasn't fully figured out the sensations of needing to pee and poop. Yet, he understands that he has to pee and poop in the potty. He also doesn't want to be in a diaper/pull up anymore during the daytime, but it's okay to wear during the nighttime. At this time, he prefers wearing an underwear than a diaper.

I also admit that I almost gave up. Earlier this Monday morning, the potty training didn't go smoothly at all. I thought he may not have been ready and I was really ready to throw in the towel. So, we all took a nap and in the afternoon, I thought I'd give it one more try before giving up. Hooray for us, he used the potty. Of course, there have been accidents since then, but the progress has been great. I also had to check myself and my expectations, reminding myself that this is a whole new experience for my son. I can't penalize him and it really is my fault for having such high expectations.

So, onward we go. No going back at this time.

Friday's Quote: Jules Renard

Image Source: BrainyQuote

Today has been an overwhelming day and it's not even half over. I am feeling old because I am old in the following ways: I'm not willing to learn new ways, my back hurts, I'm tired, etc. Regardless, I'm telling myself, I can't give up. I just can't.

So what's causing all of this consternation? TOILET TRAINING!!! Ack!

My oldest will be three in a couple of months (yes, three years old and where has all of that time gone??!!!). I was hoping to wait until the spring to begin toilet training. He hasn't really shown signs that he want to potty train and he doesn't communicate with me that he needs to pee or poop.  He has done some interesting things here and there, but no signs that he's ready to be potty trained. Well, then yesterday happened.

Yesterday, while I was in the kitchen and on the phone with my sister, he walked into the kitchen and attempted to throw away his poopy diaper into the kitchen trash (our trash can has a pedal where you must step on it in order to open the trash's lid). He was attempting to step on the pedal and I noticed his poopy diaper in his poopy hands. Somehow, he was able to take it off (while staining my rug) and knew that he had to throw it away. I took this as a sign that it was time for him to be potty trained. 

All this morning, I've been putting him on the toilet at 30 minute increments. It has not been successful. I think he's holding in his urine. He's gone through 4-5 pairs of pants already. Apparently, he doesn't care that he's peed on himself. I'm ready to quit. But I won't. I'm going to try and see if I can survive this weekend while potty training him. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking that I need to better reward him for just sitting on the potty. (e.g. give him a gummy bear each time).  I'm worried that I'm going to rot his teeth out, but they are his baby teeth and there's a greater good at stake here; namely, he needs to be potty trained.

My boy is old enough to know about the potty and what to do when on a potty. I don't know why he's so hesitant. I will survive. Wish me luck. 

If you have children, how did you survive potty training your children?

Finally Sharing

Conscious Choices 2019

This year, I've chosen "conscious choices" as my word to guide me in 2019.  (I've written about this tradition and you can read it here, here, and here.) Last year,  my word for the year was "connecting." In retrospect, it should have been patience or something related to patience. I don't think I was as successful in connecting with anything (maybe I connected more with my children and husband, but who knows). I know 2018 really was a year of working through obstacles and learning patience, knowing to wait things out, and having faith that things will happen when it's meant to happen.

This year, I'm ready to keep moving forward and onward. I've spent the last year letting go of toxic situations and people. I've also spent a year working on myself and reevaluating my priorities. I was an emotional mess at times and I wondered a lot about the stability of my decisions (e.g. is my decision really selfish, is this really the best decision, will everything work out). I questioned my belief in myself and whether I was on the right path. I questioned myself as a mother and worried a lot about my children. By the end of the year, I realized that I was doing my best, and I needed to trust myself more.

So, this year, I want to make changes and I want change to happen, but not just any changes. I want change that comes from conscious choices. Yes, change will happen to me, regardless if I want it or not, but I am not just going to sit back and let change happen to me only. This year, I am going to be a willing participant and consciously be a part of the change that will happen to me.

My dear, I hope you are doing well. I hope you've had an awesome week so far in 2019. I also wish you well and if you have a guiding word for 2019, please feel free to share with me. Lots of love to you.

Books of 2018

This past year has been a year full of books. I've read so many books, but the problem is finishing them. At some point, I've become a discriminating reader. I will stop or skip through a book because I found it too cliche, boring, annoying, etc. So, the list below are the books that I actually read through, cover to cover. It's a list of books that I can consciously say, "I've read it."

1. Pepperoni Pizza Murder--Chris Cavender
2. A Pizza to Die For--Chris Cavender
3. Rest in Pizza--Chris Cavender
4. A Slice of Murder--Chris Cavender
5. A Man Called Ove--Fredrik Backman
6. Moon Dance--J.R. Rain

7. The Mountain Between Us--Charles Martin
8. The Comet Seekers--Helen Sedgwick
9. The Taken--Vicki Pettersson
10. The Complete Sookie Stackhouse Stories--Charlaine Harris
11. Missing Joseph--Elizabeth George
12. Last Wool and Testament--Molly MacRae

13. The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane--Katherine Howe

14. Grave Witch--Kalayna Price
15. Grave Dance--Kalayna Price
16. Grave Visions--Kalayna Price
17. Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore--Robin Sloan
18. Second Grave on the Left--Darynda Jones
19. Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet--Darynda Jones
20. Soulless--Gail Carriger
21. Changeless--Gail Carriger
22. By the Book--Julia Sonneborn
23. May Day--Jess Lourey
24. The Clairvoyant of Calle Ocho--Anjanette Delgado
25. Breezy Friends and Bodies--Anne R. Tan
26. Sunny Mates and Murders--Anne R. Tan
27. Death at First Sight--Lena Gregory
28. The Recipe Box--Viola Shipman
29. Death by Dumpling--Vivien Chien
30. Dim Sum of all Fears--Vivien Chien
31. What the Dead Have Taught Me About Living Well--Rebecca Rosen
32. The Memory Garden--Mary Rickert
33. Magick and Mayhem--Sharon Pape
34. Be Careful What You Witch For--Dawn Eastman
35. Talking as Fast as I Can--Lauren Graham
36. Wild--Cheryl Strayed
38. The Tattooist of Auschwitz--Heather Morris
37. A Life in Stitches--Rachael Herron
38. The Comfort Food Diaries--Emily Nunn
39. I Take You--Eliza Kennedy
40. The Dire King--William Ritter
41. Lethal Licorice--Amanda Flower

Of the books I read, I'd recommend The tattooist of Auschwitz. The book is a mix between a memoir and fiction. The story is the actual story of a survivor from Auschwitz. It made me cry, laugh out loud, and angry. It created a storm of emotions in me, which I didn't think was possible.

The other book I'd recommend is The Comfort Food Diaries. It's Emily Nunn's memoir of certain periods of her life. It's quite interesting and made me think of my own family and the dynamics between my family and me. There are a lot of recipes in there too, which are interesting from a cultural perspective.

Overall, I've had a good year of reading. Hopefully, I'll read more this year. 

Was 2018 a good year for your reading?

Merry Christmas

Have a Happy Holiday, from my family to yours. This year was one that required patience and persistence. It was definitely a year full of changes and acceptance of a new way of life. I like to think that I did a lot of growing this year.

I am hoping for an even better and more magical 2019. I hope you are too. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Friday's Quote: Robert Baden-Powell

"The most worth-while thing is to try to put happiness into the lives of others." --- Robert Baden-Powell

With Christmas quickly approaching, I have been wondering whether I should buy gifts for my two boys. This is the first year that our little family will be getting our own tree (soon to be explained in a later post). It is also the first time my oldest has an understanding of why he's getting presents in the middle of winter, when it's not his birthday. I love making my boys happy and I love giving them presents. And that, my dear friend, is the reason why I've been debating about giving them presents for Christmas.

I am ashamed to admit it, but their father and I buy them toys all year long. ALL YEAR LONG. Most of the time, they just want little cars, like Matchbox cars. Yet, those cars do add up. They love their new toys and cars for several days, but eventually will move on to the next thing or an old favorite toy. So, I love seeing their faces light up when they get a new toy, but I hate that they get bored of it so soon. I've been wondering if I should try something different, maybe give them experiences and not just toys. I'm also wondering how I could cultivate lessons (e.g. it's better to give than receive) that would warm their heart. I don't know. This has been something I've been wondering about most recently and will try to find a solution. 

Do you have any suggestions for me? 

Quilt From Shirts: Finally Done

It's been several weeks since I've  finally finished my quilt made mostly (to be explained below) from dress shirts. It has spent some time waiting patiently to be finished and I'm so happy to be done with it. Hooray me!

I had intended to make a dress shirt quilt years ago (maybe before 2015), and probably actively collected 100% cotton dress shirts for it (in 2015). Yet, it wasn't until last winter in 2017 that I thought I had enough shirts (about 5-6 shirts) and began cutting up the shirts and sewing it together to make the quilt top. I was really inspired by a dress shirt  quilt made by Richard Killeaney called "Missing the Point," but I also have no patience for sewing up small strips together like his. Regardless, I made something similar and I really love the final result.

The blanket fits a twin size bed and would cover a full. In the picture above, it's laid on top a queen size bed. Now, the top is mostly made up of dress shirts from my Mr. Man and me. I've also added some quilting gray cotton fabric because I didn't have enough shirt fabric that was wide enough. The back of the fabric is a whole cloth that features old dictionary pages (which I really like). I hand quilted straight stitches across each horizontal panel using a different thread color (white, navy blue, or gray-blue) for each panel.  I think the quilt would be more eye-pleasing if all of the horizontal lines were more narrow and the same width; yet, as I stated above, I didn't have the patience. I really didn't want this project to linger on any more. (I have a quilting project that's been lingering on for over ten years, ugh!) So, here it is in all of its finished glory.

I've got so many other quilting projects that I'd like to work on. Let me know what you think of this quilt.

Pastry for Hand Pies

I've stopped baking for a very long time. First, it was because I didn't have someone to clean up after me. Now, it's because my two boys take up almost 100% of my time. Lately, I've been able to bake again because I have the help of teenage nieces. Not only do they help with the prep, but also with the clean up, and watching my boys.

So, with this fall weather and so many apples on hand because my apple tree is having a boom year, I was able to try out this hand pie pastry recipe from food blogger, Brown Eyed Baker (www.browneyedbaker.com). We made apple and peach hand pies by making homemade pie filling (note: if making homemade pie filling, cook down as much of the juices from the fruit before filling the pastry). This pastry recipe is awesome because the crusts came out flaky and delicious. Pie dough is super hard to work with and this dough worked well with a teenager that had never before made a pie in her life. It survived a lot of rolling and man-handling, and still came out flaky and buttery. This recipe is definitely a keeper.

The pastry recipe and ingredients below are from Brown Eyed Baker.  I've rewritten the instructions for the pastry because I used a food processor to make the dough (so so much easier). You can find the original recipe here and also use it to finish your hand pies.

Ingredients for Pastry

1 1/2 C (354 grams) All-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 C (227 grams) unsalted butter, chilled and cut into small pieces

1/2 C (113 grams) sour cream

4 teaspoons fresh lemon juice

1/2 C (120 ml) ice water

In a food processor, put in the flour, salt, and butter. Pulse until the mixture looks like sand (about 15-20 seconds). Don't over process.

Add sour cream, lemon juice, and ice water to the flour/butter mixture. Pulse until the mixture starts coming together (about 15-20 seconds). Don't over process. The mixture will likely stick to the center of the food processor.

Dump the mixture into a bowl. Pat the the mixture into a ball and cover it with plastic wrap (or you could put it in a plastic baggie) and refrigerate for one hour. 

Love Yourself

It's been some time. How are you? And what about me? Well, my boys keep me busy. I've been trying to stay sane and still accomplish some writing.

Tonight, a very good friend called me about her personal problem. At some point, her personal problem highlighted a major personal issue - one that I've dealt with in the not too recent past - loving one's self. Really, what's at the heart of the issue is that I didn't feel as if I deserved to be loved and no matter how much love was shown to me, I couldn't see it because I believed I didn't deserve it.

My heart breaks for my dear beautiful friend. I will try to support her as best as I can. At the same time, I wanted to remind you to love yourself. You are worthy of love in every single way.

Please be gentle with yourself and take care.