Already, So Big

Since giving birth, I've spent practically every day with my Little One.  I am aware and understood when every other person told me that the time would fly by so fast, but I really can't believe how one month has passed by so quickly and how big he has gotten.  (I can't believe that it's already been a little more than month!)

I still love him so much at this age because he only wants the basic things in life (eat, sleep, diaper chage, and love) and doesn't yet know how to sass back at me.  I'm so conflicted because I'm happy he's growing, but at the same time I want him to remain my Little One.  It's funny that when I was pregnant with him, I would read up on all the milestones that he would have reached while in utero and the milestones he would be reaching once he's born.  Now that he's here, I'm not as concerned about the milestones, although I do occasionally read about what to expect.  I'm just so happy to have him in my life and to spend my time with him.  He really is the sweetest baby in the world and I really can't believe that he came out of me.

So, I'm trying my best to be present and enjoy my time with him. In the blink of an eye, before I know it, he will be leading a life of his own and not needing his mom anymore.  I think that if I could relive moments of my life, I'd relive some of these moments with him, except the 2 a.m. feedings.

Do you have children of your own?  Are there moments from their childhood that you would relive?     

Armillary Sphere

[Key West, FL.  Taken July 17, 2015.]

Tuesday's Tune: Jealous

If you thought "Faded" by Alan Walker was a sad song, this song is just as sad, but in a different way. (I'm not in an emo mood either.)  I just happen to come across Labrinth's "Jealous" when I was watching this X-Factor contestant's audition.  He has a different, and just as sad, interpretation of the meaning of the lyrics, so I definitely recommend you watch his audition.

I really like the lyrics.  Even though it's sad, it's also very honest.  I joke that I always hope that my exes are secretly unhappy that I'm no longer in their lives (personally, I think most girls want that). Of course, I'll admit that there have been times when I've been "jealous" because  I'm no longer a part of my ex's life.  I don't wish any ill will on him or his new love interest, but I still can't help but also feel sadness that things didn't work out.  I understand that things happen for a reason (even if I don't immediately know what those reasons are) or some things are out of my control, but it still doesn't lessen the hurt and the pain at that moment when it's so fresh and raw.

Let me know what you think of this song and how you would interpret the lyrics.

Astrophotography

Big Dipper in the eastern sky from the Seven Mile Bridge, Florida.  Taken July 2015.

In 2015, I told myself that I was going to learn some of the basics of astrophotography.  I had already been on a mission to learn how to use my camera and to take better night pictures.  Thus, astrophotography was the next step.  I scoured the internet and came upon several very helpful websites and taught myself the basics of astrophotgraphy.  I was also immensely inspired by photos taken by other astrophotographers.

Eastern sky from the Seven Mile Bridge.  Taken July 2015.

Milky Way in the western sky, from the Seven Mile Bridge.  Taken July 2015.

I am no expert, but I took what I learned and used this knowledge while I was on my trip in Florida. Planning is also very important too.  Before heading out, I checked the weather to see how clear the sky would be, I checked to see what phase the moon would be, and during the daytime I noted the best place to take pictures (e.g. there was public access).  Then I made my Mr. Man go with me in the middle of night to take pictures of the night sky while on the Seven Mile Bridge (interestingly, there were also a lot of people night fishing from the Seven Mile Bridge too). 

The eastern sky contained a more picturesque background with an island and the Atlantic Ocean, but the stars in the sky look like salt was sprinkled into the black sky.  The western sky contained the Milky Way, but the rest of the Seven Mile Bridge/highway was in the foreground.  Regardless, I still found the experience and the pictures beautiful and magical.  I couldn't believe that I was able to capture the starry sky and the Milky Way in photographs.  I really didn't think it was possible until I looked at the pictures. It's amazing!

Big Dipper over the Florida Keys.  Taken July 2015.

Again, I'm no expert, but I highly recommend you do the following if you want to start astrophotography:

1. Read articles about astrophotography.

2. Use a DSLR camera AND a wide angle lens.

3. Use a tripod.

4. Think about the composition and layout of the photograph (e.g. what will be in the foreground and the angle of the sky).

5. Try and take the picture away from light pollution and on moonless nights.

6. Use a program for post processing of your photos.

7.  Be safe and have fun.

I had planned to do more astrophotography, but my pregnancy got in the way.  Now, I just have to work around my son and find creative ways to photograph the night sky close to home.  My long term goal is to go someplace wonderful (e.g. mountain or desert) and photograph the Milky Way.  If you happen to find yourself on a mountain, by the ocean, or the desert, I hope you are able to capture the beautiful night sky.

I would suggest the following websites to get tips and learn more about astrophotography:

http://theartofnight.com/2014/06/the-art-of-astrophotography-tutorial/

http://www.lonelyspeck.com/astrophotography-101/

http://www.skyandtelescope.com/astronomy-resources/astrophotography-tips/tips-for-shooting-great-nightscapes/

http://digital-photography-school.com/how-to-shoot-the-night-sky-introduction-to-astrophotography/

Let me know of your experience if you've tried your hand at astrophotography.

Sisterhood

Yesterday, I dropped off my sisters and their respective families at the airport.  They all came and visited me for a week with the intent of helping me and seeing my Little One.  I love my sisters with all of my heart and it's great when we all get together.  Yet, there is a lesson to be learned:  We need to be closer to one another to spend more time with each other, but we can't live with one another.

Even though we all grew up in the same household when we were young, as adults, we've all taken different paths and it's been a long time since we've lived together.  It's quite apparent to me that we all have different priorities in life, which affects how we lead our lives. (We're all so different!) Of course there's always love underneath it all, but we may clash on how to raise children, what to eat, and even how we speak to one another.

I don't think my sisters and I will be living near one another any time soon.  I guess, for the time being, this is as good as it gets.  At least I realize that we need our respective space and time from one another, and I'm being realistic.  I think my sisters too also realize this truth too, so maybe we can find a way to move forward and build better relationships with one another.

What about your relationship with your siblings?  Do you agree that it's best to live close to one another and not live with one another?

Dimples

Tuesday's Tune: Faded

The original song is credited to Alan Walker, and similar to David Guetta, he has another artist sing the song.  My sister and nephew were talking about this song today and after hearing it, I thought I would share it.

I told my sister that this was such a sad song.  When I listen to this song, it reminds me of one of the lowest times in my life, when I was lost, my personal life was in shambles, and I realized that I had to find myself again.  It reminds me of the people I've lost and those that I had to let go for various reasons, and of the times when I wondered where they were and what they were doing because I could no longer contact them.

Again, I find this song to be so sad.  Let me know what you think of this song.

A Crocus or Two or Three

Some time ago, a friend showed me pictures of the wild purple crocuses taken while on a hike in the fall (yes, there are crocuses that bloom in the fall).  I was enamored by these wild flowers and decided to buy bulbs to plant in my yard.  I got the spring flowering ones and planted them in Fall 2014, so that they would bloom in Sprig 2015.  Unfortunately, I think the squirrels and other animals got a hold of my crocus bulbs, so I never got any crocuses in Spring 2015.

Then last fall, I decided to try again and I was finally rewarded this spring with several crocuses.  I had forgotten that I purchased yellow crocuses to plant too, but I so remember the purple ones.  So far, I've seen about five flowers and I know that many will be coming forth because I can see the slender green leaves shooting forth from the ground.  I was quite excited to see these spring flowers, and even though they aren't wild, they are just as beautiful.

Have you seen any crocuses lately, wild or homesown?

Hands

Tuesday's Tune: Running

"Running" isn't one of No Doubt's biggest commercial hits, but it's definitely one of my favorite songs from the band. (I really love this song.)  I remember listening to it when it was first released ans somehow, I came across this song while surfing YouTube, so I now want to share it with you. 

It's inevitable that time changes everything and nothing stays static.  Sometimes I wish I could just freeze time and live in the moment forever.  Yet, life goes on and the only thing I can hope for is that the people I love will stay with me or that I don't get separated from them.  It's finding that balance to staying connected but not holding one another behind.  It's hoping that we all follow our own paths, but hoping that the paths don't diverge too far from one another so that we can still keep up with one another.  And if our paths do take us far from each other, I hope that our paths will intersect again, so we can find one another again.

What do you think of this song?  

Thoughts About Waiting

When I wrote this blog post, I was actually thinking about my son.  At that time, he was in utero and I was probably going through a hormonal phase during my pregnancy (seriously, it's hard to pinpoint a time during my pregnancy when I was not hormonal).  

As an older first time mom, I pondered about my decision to wait so long to have my first child.  I can say, so far, that as an older mom, I'm definitely more patient and definitely appreciate the parenting experience.  I also can say that I really wanted this child in my life.  If I had my child at a younger age, I still would've loved him just as much, but I really don't think I would've appreciated him or the experience as much.

The other aspect that I really pondered about is the life experience my son would have, with me making him wait to come into this world.  I admit, I remember being really emotional because I believe that he's waited a long time.  On the one hand, by making him wait, both of his parents would be a lot older by the time he was born, but at the same time, I really wanted him to have a father that would want him just as much as I wanted him.  To be quite honest, I couldn't imagine having children with anybody else than my Mr. Man.  I know that that there have been suitors  and people I thought that could've been potential fathers, but in the end, I knew that Mr. Man would've wanted him just as much as I wanted him.

So, I hope my son will forgive me for making him wait.  I also hope that my son would feel the love that his father and I have for him, and know that he came into the world with both of us equally wanting him in our lives.

Hat and Socks

Tuesday's Tune: Baby Baby

This song, "Baby Baby" by Amy Grant came out when I was in high school.  It was such a big hit back then.  Similar to this song, "Baby Baby" is not just a song about romantic love.  Apparently, this song was written right around the time Amy Grant gave birth to her daughter, and the song's reference of "baby" really refers to her baby daughter.

Is it any surprise that I have baby on the brain?  Other than going through all the motions of a new mom, I'm learning patience.  I'm also learning to be grateful that I have the sweetest newborn in the world.  He's a newborn and will cry when he needs to eat, be changed, or be comforted (like all other newborns).  Yet, he's so calm.  I'm realizing how lucky I am to have him just as he is and to love him with the "sweetest of devotion."

Let me know what you think of the song from the past.

Bleary-Eyed and Sleep Deprived

With the arrival of my Little One, I've been lacking in sleep.   My brain isn't always the clearest, especially with the lack of sleep.  Tired, is an understatement.  I'm exhausted!  

I'm also frustrated because I've been trying to learn more about my Little One and what he's communicating to me.  Despite my frustrations, he is the love of my life.  It's funny that I've put off having a child for so long, but when it finally came time to have him, I really wanted him in my life. So, during the 2 a.m. feedings and the lack of sleep (when his cuteness is no longer a factor), I remember how much I wanted him in my life, how much I love him, and how I must stretch my heart out even bigger than before.  All just for him.

I hope you are getting your sleep.  Wish me well on my journey with little sleep.  Hopefully, I'll be able to get my Little One on a sleep schedule soon.