As human beings, I think one of the hardest thing to do after a bad break up is to force one's self to continue to stew in one's misery and think through one's heart. So many are apt to let go of bad relationships and just not think about it. Others continue to push the broken relationship down, down, down, until he thinks that it's no longer there and try to ignore that the relationship ever existed. For myself, I have a hard time letting go because I have to really process the relationship first and once I'm done processing, I can let it go.
I admit that I had to let go of a broken relationship and afterwards, I didn't really think about the relationship. I thought I did, but I didn't. When I finally did confront my broken relationship and all that had happened during it, unfortunately, I had let too much time pass and wasted too much of another person's time. For that I am very sorry. Yet, I eventually did work through my issues with that broken relationship and I have not only asked for forgiveness from my former beau, but I've also learned to forgive myself. From my point of view, I'm glad that my former beau is still alive so that I can apologize to him directly and have an open conversation with him about our broken relationship.
I also realize that sometimes, there isn't that open of a communication line (not with just my former beaus but also with others), so I set an intent and send a prayer to the the universe and hope that my message gets to the right person. Not all of my processing takes a long time, although, there have been a few that just took too long. Regardless, once I let go, I let go.
How do you let go? Do you eventually forgive the other person and yourself?
3 comments:
I forgive them, and never let them hurt it again so I move on. Is that wrong of me?
Anonymous, when I wrote this, I was writing about how people grieve and let go of relationships in different ways. For me, I really have to feel all of my emotions (sadness, anger, jealousy, hurt, regret, forgiveness) in order to get over my relationships. Once I've done that, I can let go. I had one relationship that ended and I didn't allow myself to feel my emotions. I'm sorry that I didn't deal with my emotions at the time my relationship ended because in my next relationship, I wasted my a lot of Friend's time and love.
Now, if you are able to forgive and move on quickly, I think that's wonderful. That is your method of grieving. Although, I don't think you can control how other people feel. So, even when you don't want to hurt another and you think you aren't hurting them, they may already be hurting, and that's something you can't control.
Anonymous, I also wanted to add that when I wrote this posting, I was referencing a person I once loved so very much. I think he has to deal with his demons, especially the ones from our relationship. I think he's really good at ignoring his issues and emotions. But, that's his problem. When he comes seeking answers from me, I will be here waiting. It's unfortunate that we're at an impasse with our friendship, but it's time that we let each other go.
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