Learning to Love Myself

“I learned to love myself, because I sleep with myself every night and I wake up with myself every morning, and if I don’t like myself, there’s no reason to even live the life [...] They try to paint the picture that I was this downtrodden, ugly girl who was unpopular in school and in life and then I got this role and now I’m awesome, but the truth is that I’ve been awesome, and then I got this role.” – Gabourey Sidibe

In the last several days, I have been trying to forge a path to rediscovering myself again and to learn to love myself again.  I really don't hate myself or my life, but I don't really love life.  I think I've been lacking a lot of self love, and I'm trying to figure out why and how I can make myself  happier.  Many things are going through my mind and I'm trying to piece bits of pieces together to just try and make some sense of my life.  I'm trying to actually learn from observation and really learn from others.  For example, in observing a friend and his behavior, I am reminded that I am not as kind as I would like to be (by the way, being kind is not the same thing as being nice).  He makes me want to be a kinder person and to be more forgiving. He makes me want to be a better person.

 

Also, in observing another friend and her relationship (in which her affection isn't being returned at the moment), I am reminded that I have loved AND have been loved by a wonderful Friend.  Even when I am feeling most wretched and unloved, I must remind myself that for a moment, I was loved by someone who's heart was so wide and deep that he forgave me for all of my transgressions.  This person makes me want to love again, unselfishly and with all of my heart.

So, I am learning to love myself again.  I hope to get to the point where Gabourey Sidibe is at and finally realize that I have been awesome all along.

How about you?  How have you been treating yourself lately?

The above excerpt is from My Thoughts on Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe | A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss