I've been in a funk for the longest time. I'm really sorry that that is what I'm sharing here on my blog. Unfortunately, much of it surrounds my sucky love life. Seriously, my love life is in shambles and needs to be revamped. Just when I thought that I was on the verge of recovery, something happens that puts me back into my funk.
I realize that I'm not really good at letting people go. I need to just let people go. I need to learn to say good bye and not think about the "what ifs." I retrospect, had I just let that person go and not thought about it, I think my love live wouldn't be as complicated nor as sad as it is right now. At the same time, I admit that I have a double standard. I'm not saying that it's right. I'm just admitting that I do have a double standard. At least I can admit to it. I'm also trying hard to undo my double standard.
So, as much as I want to get out of this funk, I can't. I really don't want to be in it too because it affects so much of my life (e.g. cleaning, exercising, and being productive are not priorities any more). However, it's going to take time, and lots of it, to get out of this funk. At the moment, my heart is tired and heavy. It wants a long, long, long, good cry, and then some rest. I guess I need to hunker down again.
I hope all is well in your world.
2 comments:
You need to stop with this funk or with this double standard you have? How can you get somebody close to you if you continue to have this double standard? If you know you have this in you. Make some changes in your life? Allow yourself to be more open to change? I know a long cry can help ease the heartache, pain and suffering but if you don't change yourself. How can it get better in the future? You know what is needed to be done... Love
Love, you are right. I need to change myself and my life. I must create my future. I have an idea what needs to be done, although I wish I had a love by my side telling me that everything will be alright.
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